“The end of the world postponed!” states the joyful title of a Yahoo News leading story, in reference to the doomsday date of December 21, 2012, the last recorded date on the Mayan Long Count Calendar.
Not to fret, according to recent research in an article by Stephanie Pappas, the accepted conversions of dates from the Mayan to the Gregorian calendar may be off by 50 to 100 years. Therefore according to that sunny news blip, all ye procrastinators can postpone your bucket list for a while, before testing the laws of gravity in your skydiving ensemble, or skinny dipping in the Washington Memorial.
The best part of all about prophesying the end of mankind includes the technique of placing the expiration date so far in advance that when the end didn’t do a sufficient job of ending, the oracle is no longer around to dutifully explain why.
Although the end very well may be near, hopefully at least for those silly bandz rubber animal bracelets, it appeared not to be quite as near as initially thought for these time honored endings of it all:
-February 1, 1524 Astrologers predicted that the end would be in London by fault of an enormous flood. 20,000 people left their homes and fortresses were built and stocked with enough food and water to suffice for two months. However the doomed date neglected to provide even a rain shower in the foggy London town.
-1532. A bishop of Vienna, Frederick Nausea, declared the certainty of mass chaos when various strange events were reported to him. He was told that bloody crosses had been seen in the skies along with a comet, that black bread had fallen from midair, and that three suns and a flaming castle had been seen in the heavens.
-By measuring the Tomb of Cheops at Giza, the largest of all Egyptian Pyramids, it was calculated that we’d all be toast by the year 1881.
-If you define a bad perm and striped legwarmers as the end of the world, then perhaps an old Arabic astrological prediction was correct as it doomed the 1980s, stating that when the planets Saturn and Jupiter would be in conjunction in the sign Libra at 9 degrees, after 29 minutes of that sign, we would all be in oblivion. That astronomical configuration just about took place at midnight of December 31, 1980.
-Y2K…I lived through it as did my canned food and barrels of backup batteries.
However, despite my dubious speculation, it’s not only the Mayan Calendar that ends in 2012, but my own dear sweet mother has not yet purchased her 2012 calendar, bless her heart there’s no edition to be seen…