Wake Up Call.

They were after me, they were climbing balconies, and toting guns and all I could do was try and try and try to run away with my wooden legs and foggy thought.

5:40 on a Saturday morning and my phone omitted that obnoxiously piercing frantic ring tone.

One thing I’ve still got to get used to about college is the strangest sleep schedules.

If I call anybody at any given time throughout the day, I have the potential to wake them up.

I’ve caught a couple of groggy “screw you” voices at seven thirty on a Wednesday afternoon, and at four PM on a Tuesday.

Therefore, I’ve honed more of a dial and wince tactic.

Dial, and close your eyes for that moment of anticipation, hoping they’re conscious.

“This so grants me permission to call him at whatever time I desire from here on out!” I thought, while grappling to answer my phone mid slumber.

At least the zombies had evaporated.

I’d been expecting to hear from Ed anyways, just maybe not so….you know…early.

He’d had a big date planned in Bangkok the night before with some posh girl he met at a beach party.

While June and I were walking around Sala Apartments the other evening, heading over to play the violent Thai card game known as, “Signal.”

Ed grabbed us with a desperate expression on his face.

Holding only a wrinkled shirt and a miniscule palm sized iron, the message was clear.

June and I set to work ironing his entire ensemble and making him into a man.

As I pressed the steam across his thick black socks, he recounted to us just how great she was.

A gorgeous mix between ridiculously kinky, and high class society with a few dashes of irrelevant knock-knock jokes bridging the distance.

And the best part of all, he said with a grin, “She’s got these great tits! I mean, I know when she gets old…but live in the moment right?”

We sat around thinking of the most romantically possible scenarios he could conjure up.

Flowers? Too cliché.

Me mentioning flowers? Even more cliché.

After much debate, during which the preferred shirt was selected, and Ed was advised to stay far away from the plaid, a warning he would no doubt ignore and proceed packing right on into his suitcase.

We all decided on a picnic.

A nighttime one, with champagne and sandwiches(Ed’s attempt to “keep it casual”)  right next to the moonlit water.

It was gonna be good.

“She’s a man!!!” Ed yelled horrified into my ear on my wake up call that groggy Saturday morning.

Ladyboys.

Yet another reminder as to just why I love Thailand.

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1 Comment

Filed under Peace and Love

One response to “Wake Up Call.

  1. Lavenderlady

    Ummmmmm.
    So, how did Ed not know he was going to date a guy? He was that good of a cross dresser?

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