I drank straight out of the milk jug today.
I’ve absolutely never done that in my life before.
I always thought of it as gross.
I was so taken aback, I had to drown my condolences with Oreos and peanut butter.
Or perhaps it was the other way around.
But it turns out that the Oreos here are actually really nasty and horrifyingly unchocolatey, I call them Asian-O’s.
However I am not completely certain as to the politically correctness of that statement.
So I just smother them in more peanut butter and the improvement is instantly noticeable.
That’s pretty much a universal tactic for all life’s little boomerangs of difficulty.
Anyhow here I was standing out on the balcony chaperoning the highway traffic below chugging milk straight out of the carton.
What an enlightening experience.
It turns out that you can do that when you live alone.
And there’s no one to make choking noises of disgust, or give you the squinty little evil eye.
There’s just yourself.
And a dinner of banana, tuna, yogurt sandwiches on whole wheat bread.
Keeping you company as you clean out the fridge.
And realize that expiration dates are the most impatient devils you ever came close to eating.